Bibliophobia: A Memoir

Essayist Chihaya (The Ferrante Letters) recounts her journey with depression and anxiety, reflecting on the books that helped her make sense of herself. The child of a Japanese father and a Japanese Canadian mother, Chihaya grew up in a predominantly white suburb of Cleveland, often feeling fractured, as she did not identify as wholly American or Japanese. These feelings, combined with her abusive, domineering father, exacerbated her spiral into depression, culminating in a complete breakdown and subsequent hospitalization. For most of her life, Chihaya’s one constant was the comfort provided by immersing herself in books. Simply stated, she was “reading for salvation” in hopes that the books encountered would offer her redemption or, at least, an explanation for her depression. While in the hospital, however, she experienced bibliophobia—a deep-seated fear of books. Chihaya shares the impact this had on her life and her continued battle with mental illness. Narrator Traci Kato-Kiriyama reads with a thoughtful, measured pace and a soft, even tone, sensitively evoking Chihaya’s inner emotions.